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Book Review : Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus

Famous author John Gray first wrote his guide to understanding the opposite sex "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" 16 years ago. This popular best-seller attempts to improve the personal relationships of typical couples by understanding the differences between men and women.

After a brief topic overview, Gray dives into our value differences and points out the most common issues men and women seem to have relating to each other. Relationship mistakes concerning the inappropriate giving or receiving advice from our partner are discussed. The third chapter demonstrates how each sex deals with stress differently. Gray then explores what feelings help most to motivate each other. He follows up by offering three practical steps to healing a relationship.

The misunderstandings between men and women caused by the different use of language are studied in chapter five. By comparing men to a 'rubber band', the author explores their different intimacy and autonomy needs. In the following chapter he uses a 'wave' as symbolism for the loving attitudes of women. Twelve kinds of love each sex needs are listed and explored. A large section of the book is devoted to advice on how couples can avoid painful arguments.

The author indicates how men and women view equality and 'keep score'. Couples learn how to communicate with each other at difficult times. The later sections of the book touch on how women can have a tough time asking for support and men can have a tough time giving it. The conclusion of the guide shows us how Gray sees a relationship like a "garden that has different nurturing needs as the season changes".

Readers quickly discover that John Gray PhD. is not afraid to make stereotypical behavioral statements about men and women. However, these statements are based on observations learned from the counseling of thousands of couples over a twenty year period. I appreciated that Gray remains focused on how men and women are different throughout the text and rarely dives into the why of our differences. As all of the cited examples deal with established relationships under incidents of crisis or misunderstandings, this guide is recommended to couples that have been together for some time.

This best-seller certainly provides a realistic and needed basic understanding of many of our differences as men and women. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is well worth reading and accomplishes the goal of teaching practical techniques for solving the problems that arise from our differences.

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