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Book Review : A Practical Handbook
for the Boyfriend
Written in 2007 by Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff, 'A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend : For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One / For Every Girl Who Wants to Build One
In the early pages Huffman and Wolff try to explain that men should not try to apply their ‘guy logic’ to ‘girl behavior’ but rather accept and learn about the differences between us. The second chapter dives into first contacts or encounters, and they extend their belief that chivalry and straight-forwardness goes further towards getting dates with women over attempts at cheesy pick-up lines or too much humor.
The need for men to be honest is prevalent throughout the text. The chapters discussing online dating
and the actual first date focus on telling the truth, being realistic and forthcoming about your life. Hiding your true appearance from internet daters wastes your time and theirs. Relationships without trust never materialize into ones that last over time.
Eight tips are given for men to put into practice on a first date, followed by 10 things you shouldn’t say! Then a very short fifth chapter titled ‘When do you become a Boyfriend, And Who Decides?’ ends after two words: ‘SHE DOES’!
From this point on, the advice is aimed towards those already involved in the early goings of a relationship, although many points can still be learned by those experienced in dating and relationships. The authors reminds us about the pressure placed on women to look good and consequently the importance for men to understand that their girlfriends will be looking to them for reassurance that they are attractive.
Once a relationship begins Huffman explains that more phone calls and e-mails are necessary. Most women consider this type of communication as bonding between the two of you rather than just looking for a time or date to meet.
A big topic of money and success is reviewed, and while the authors openly admit that ‘a rich guy is a turn-on’ the idea that a man needs to be good or confident at what he does is really the underlying principle behind that part of his attractiveness. Showing some responsibility and the ability to succeed is said to be ‘hot in a way that doesn’t fade’.
The guide continues to cover some daily couple time activities that may need some attending to. Advice is given on joint TV watching time, spending time in the car together, gift giving, and time spent together at social functions and parties. An interesting chapter on sex is included offering the much needed advice of acceptance, sex education and safety. Other more risqué tidbits are also offered on elements of oral sex, porn, orgasms and dirty talk.
Over-all this book was much funnier than I expected it to be as the authors were not afraid of explaining the way things are as they see it, even if these ideas sometimes fall into male/female stereotypes. Any guys looking for insights into past failed relationships or seeking help on improving their future chances at landing their perfect mate will find this guide bringing them one step closer to their goal.
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