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Book Review : Body Language Secrets
A Guide During Courtship & Dating

First printed in 1997, Body Language Secrets focuses on explaining the gestures and unspoken signals between men and women during courtship and dating. R. Don Steele also gives advice to readers on how they can use those signals to find, meet, talk with and date the right kind of person. While the book does not have a lot of text compared to others of its nature, it stays on topic and includes over 50 black and white photos that help the reader visualize the signals and gestures the author refers too.

The introductory chapter states Steele’s intent to teach body language courtship to men so that they can approach women and to women so that they can more easily identify if a man is a ‘lurking Mr. Hyde or a potential Mr. Right’. The guide then dives into his thoughts and ideas on lying, and how to tell who is telling the truth by listing the signs of sincerity honest people use and discussing the gestures that liars use.

After a more detailed look into the different actions that communicate our feelings and moods to others (i.e. tapping a foot, crossing your legs), the author devotes a chapter to understanding the signs of interest a perspective date will display from across the room and the signs that show the other person are not interested.

The fifth chapter explains the author’s advice that aggressiveness must be displayed by men to set things underway with a perspective mate. He uses biology and a brief human history to explain his argument that during the courtship process of persuasion, males must almost always make the first move. The notion of aggressiveness is followed up by solid advice on not coming off too strong, mean, wanting or arrogant. Instead maintain a bold and aggressive attitude yet kind and honest at the same time.

The guide’s focus shifts again to posture, indicating what postures to hold, to avoid, when to mirror someone else’s stance and how you can influence them. p.54 “If her posture is closed, match her posture, then as you are conversing, gradually open up, one small step at a time.”

More general dating advice is given on shaking hands, giving compliments (only one per conversation!) and how to pass the small tests women use to rate perspective boyfriends. Tips on how to meet strangers giving the right signals are followed by ‘courtship tactics’ ; advice to men and women on the topic of maintaining an attractive attitude while dating.

Body Language Secrets successfully conveys a concrete plan on how to behave and display the right kind of attitude needed while participating in the typical modern dating scenarios. By applying these given ideas and advice, singles will find their courtship times transformed into one of fun and relaxation instead of the stressful process some daters might suffer through.

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