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When Breaking-up Turns
Into Obsessive Love

Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do, especially in the face of love and mind-blowing sex; two experiences widely craved and desired… a natural, true high and nothing compares to it. Those who feel love and sexual satisfaction feel on top of the world. However, with a messy break-up, these feelings can be the root of complications: jealousy and obsession.  

I am inspired to write this article after watching many good friends deal with break-ups, having to dive straight into the rabbit hole of searing heartaches and painful recollections. Realizations that yes… it is over. The warm happiness in love and passion with someone has ended.

Disbelief, tears, pain, punching, screaming, heavy alcohol and drug consumption- in the end nothing helps to make you feel better. All you can do is think about the person who you loved and lusted for. This is the time when both people need to move on and be around friends (who are not good friends with your ex). Think about what type of person you are and who you want to be. Enroll in a course that appeals to you such as African drumming, a sculpting class, something to fill up your nights and keep your mind at ease.

What not to do during this time is allow your mind to dwell on how you have felt during those ecstatic moments in the past. It is up to you to ignore these memories and focus on something else for a while. If these thoughts invade your mind on a constant basis, you may be compelled to react in ways that you will regret. Calling, text-messaging, e-mailing, or trying to go to locations where you might see each other, will not help you to move on; even if these things are encouraged by your ex.

Breaking-up is a struggle on both sides. When one side encourages the contact in some instances and then pushes away at others, this turns into a crazy ‘push-pull’ relationship. In a ‘push-pull’ relationship, the one that has instigated the break-up throws the yoyo to the ground, and then yanks it back up again in longing for the missed love and passion. It is important to stand your ground, and rebel against the yoyo pull back up in desire, passion, or loneliness. If you allow yourself to be yanked around like this, the infatuation can be unbearable. When you see your ex. with another lover, jealousy can drive you insane.

You have to cut the string and break the addiction to this person before you lose your individuality. Climb out of the rabbit hole and find someone out there who will appreciate you at all times and who wants to be with you. That person is out there somewhere, waiting patiently.

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